Here’s the breakdown: Stress > Anxiety > Burnout > Pre-Diabetes > Type 2 DiabetesIt all started from doing hard work. Who would think doing hard work leads to all these? Back in the year, I had a few clients works to be done, datelines were back to back, I had many big projects to deal with and also dealing with some toxic connections with people. I had some struggles completing my tasks as well from web-designing, coding, video editing, graphic design, consultancy, marketing and sales. I don’t have any breaks, I’m always on the laptop and rarely exercise. I feel like entrepreneurship is not for me anymore!
As a seasoned solo founder is great to have a team to do this all for you but to build a team is hard and something I have yet to master. I tried to build a team 3 times while building my business and hoping to get things done better so I can focus on other important things for the business. I thank a few people in the team & community who have helped me in the past in trying to build a profitable business. Now most of them either work full-time or run their own business or being a self-employed person. Glad what had happened to me was to bounce back higher today to share my story.
In the past, I overcome living with sadness life in 2012-2013 when I lost my late mom, dad and brother. It was about 2-3 years I was struggling with emotions to be positive. In 2014-2017 I pick myself up and I went through a life-changing journey and started a new business after that, doing multiple things what I love to do and it was doing okay and well until something happen in 2017.
Back in late 2017, I had some challenges which I face. (here are some I can remember)
TOO MANY THINGS WAS GOING ON.
- I was broke after broke
- projects were not paying me well & I got low-balled
- My MacBook Pro laptop got thermal issues and dead
- I had to deal with some debts
- I had client small and big projects ongoing to finish
- I had to borrow some laptop
- I was involved around toxic people
- I had some really good people around me too thanks for that
- I had panic attacks because I was very stress and is hard to manage
- I had sleepless nights and at times I shut myself down by sleeping more
- I ate a lot of food in a day almost every week and I didn’t realize I was very stress
- It was lonely, is hard for me to speak to anyone about what I’m facing
- I had tons of bills to pay and it sucks to run a business and I hate what I’m doing
- I feel like giving up because I felt everything is just a waste of time.
- I try to ignore everything and focus on myself each day. .
- there we also some problems with toxic people: never let things go, can’t move forward, bully, intimidate, lie, create drama, play the victim, act out of fear and insecurity and so much more
I have been dealing with stress and anxiety, fighting hard through it. Is really tough.
— Fajar Siddiq 👨🏻💻🇸🇬🏝️ (@fajarsiddiqFS) May 5, 2017
I’ve been facing anxiety, stress and emotional breakdown. I’ve been fighting through all these battles. At times i just daydream.
— Fajar Siddiq 👨🏻💻🇸🇬🏝️ (@fajarsiddiqFS) May 29, 2017
I feel demoralized if i don’t achieve something, sometimes anxiety strikes.
— Fajar Siddiq 👨🏻💻🇸🇬🏝️ (@fajarsiddiqFS) December 16, 2018
Is okay to feel stuck.
Is okay to feel stuck.
Is okay to feel stuck.
You feel stuck, worthless, and confused.
You want to move. You should. You have to. But you can’t.
And then it evolves into anxiety, fear, and overwhelm.
Because you will.
It will be all good.
— Fajar Siddiq 👨🏻💻🇸🇬🏝️ (@fajarsiddiqFS) June 11, 2020
I did this by building a connection with people on Twitter, Slack, Telegram, Discord and some websites I sign-up related to my industry. I build tons of micro-communities and keep talking with people just to keep my self busy and to make sure I’m not alone in this world. This was the only way I think to make me feel better! I started making telegram groups and help more people. I don’t know why suddenly I’m doing this? I felt that that’s the only way to overcome my mental health I guess. I don’t need some Doctors, Psychiatrist or Specialist. I just need to connect more people with the good vibe, like-minded and people who are in the same industry I’m in. I try to help as much people as I can.
I thought I was alone facing this, little did I know I met other bootstrapped founders, creative entrepreneurs and some independent creators/makers/hackers who went through the same struggles as me. I question myself, did I just found the like-minded people with the good vibe? Yes, I did. The tribe I’ve been finding to learn more about entrepreneurship and share my struggles. I felt that my journey was lack of community & support as a business owner. So I was very active on Twitter and I join some slack/telegram groups to chat and also a community on a website. I started to build more projects in public, share my learning experience with others. Day by day I get to talk to many people and it was an awesome feeling. I keep making different type side-projects from designing, helping others, read tons of articles and try many different software products on the internet. I fell in love again with what I do. Suddenly I met so many nice people in my life but I was still having panic attacks and stress. I just watch others do things online, I give more time to myself and manage to overcome it from time to time. I pause my businesses only do little work, I take more breaks, learn more latest design and technology by upskilling my skills, build the best personal site I ever made for myself with some tweak and hack, connect more people online, travel more and meet new people in life.
Overcoming Anxiety. 😏 #mentalhealth
— Fajar Siddiq 👨🏻💻🇸🇬🏝️ (@fajarsiddiqFS) March 5, 2019
We need people who will listen to us & give us honest feedback. Research has proved that having a support system has many positive benefits, such as higher levels of well-being, better coping skills, longer & healthier life. Studies shown that it can reduce depression & anxiety.
— Fajar Siddiq 👨🏻💻🇸🇬🏝️ (@fajarsiddiqFS) June 18, 2019
One of the weekend while I was on the laptop, I got pre-diabetes symptom.
😊 Last 9 months, i overcome burnout, anxiety & panic attacks
😍 I overcome it & now help others!
— Fajar Siddiq 👨🏻💻🇸🇬🏝️ (@fajarsiddiqFS) October 10, 2019
It was a horrible feeling for that 1 week in my life.
- Sudden Weight loss (I lost 2kg)
- Sudden thirst & can’t control (drank 4 coke bottles, 1 soda bottle & 6 cans of red-bull)
- Frequent urination (I urine more than 20x a day, yellow in colour and I hate this!)
- Sudden Fatigue (i sleep 24hrs) & (I was very hungry and ate a lot)
- Sudden Excessive Itch (On my groin area, I keep scratching and hard to stop)
- Blurred vision (i can’t see clearly on my phone/laptop, I was very sad)
- I feel numbness on my left wrist all the time it was annoying
I saw some helpful links online and went for screening at the clinic.
https://screenforlife.sg/ for Singapore and I read tons of articles.
I then decided to sign up the screening quickly on my 2nd week.
Got my blood test result, it was horrible and I was afraid I could get a stroke
I ask the doctor to refer to the government polyclinic and went for other screening like diabetic foot check, eyes, ECG and did another blood test.
I got my results and I was sad yet angry, I didn’t take care of my health all this while
I have a family history of chronic diseases. I’m thankful my medical bill was subsidized
🥰Health is wealth!
🙃Recently, i was sick for 1 week +
😑Found out, a sign of Pre-Diabetes! (family history)
❌No more processed food! sugary drinks! unhealthy food!
✅More organic & healthy food, exercise and tons of water!
📨Thanks to @HPBsg – https://t.co/h04RVrZLOh pic.twitter.com/3guIrgUA5f
— Fajar Siddiq 👨🏻💻🇸🇬🏝️ (@fajarsiddiqFS) August 17, 2019
— Fajar Siddiq 👨🏻💻🇸🇬🏝️ (@fajarsiddiqFS) August 30, 2019
- I lost my weight by cooking my own healthy meals
- I shop healthier groceries by looking at the nutrition facts
- I try to eat organic food and also more greens
- I change my food to fewer carbs and more protein
- I look for gluten-free or low-gi food
- I did intermittent fasting from 8 pm-12 pm (16hrs fasting just water)
- I learn to swim better and do 10 lapses every week + do walk like 10,000 steps
- I had trouble with hypoglycemia because I had to take glipizide (blue colour pill)
- I have to prepare honey always or some sugar if I have low sugar in my blood
- Side effect like sweat, stammer, I speak and move fast, hard to control myself
- I had to do the food prep and make sure everything is in order
- I change my t-shirt size from XL to L and it motivates me
- I had to buy some fitness clothing
- I try to sleep before 11 pm every night
- I also reward myself eating cake and some nice desserts from time to time.
- I did not strict myself but no sugar or salt but I have some nice food dressings
- Whatever I ate it is all in a portion size
- I drank a lot of warm water
— Fajar Siddiq 👨🏻💻🇸🇬🏝️ (@fajarsiddiqFS) September 28, 2019
I did whatever I can for 1 year and each time I went for my appointment the doctor advised me on based on my blood test result. Glad they cut down my medication, no more glipizide pills and now I’m only on metformin pills 2 times a day. Its been a journey but this means forever in my life. You can beat diabetes by reversing it but you still need to keep up with it. It was all well until another challenge came up.
I also had a hernia for 10 years in my left bottom groin area, I finally can go for surgery said the doctor before covid19 but due to covid19 it was postponed and I lost my diet/lifestyle momentum. Some people might think is easy but I have to think about the recovery stage too as well as I’m diabetic said the doctor, that should be aware if there any infection if not careful. Also thinking about my work and my things to do.
There is more I want to elaborate but let’s just not just give up and keep progressing and make it better. I was recently upset about my MacBook Pro data is gone and had to fix it. Some things are unfortunate, you can read the tweet thread. Some of my important work and video files were gone. Glad the maker’s community help me out quickly but everything was about 1-month plus to settle financially. I was mentally disturbed as well. I lost my momentum doing my work online too.
😭 Woke up today, my apple macbook pro died & went black screen of death on me. Tried to do everything i can & nothing can be done. Is only 2 years old & still in good condition.
For the next few days i can’t continue my clients & projects. Welcome to the reality of life. 🤯 pic.twitter.com/eJJxsgjjTV
— Fajar Siddiq 👨🏻💻🇸🇬🏝️ (@fajarsiddiqFS) June 26, 2020
Due to recent Covid19 measures and regulations, it was challenging for me, the first 3 months was okay but later on all this anxiety, fear and stay home change my lifestyle. I lost my momentum and other personal things happened as well.
Thanks to all indie makers community who have supported and created an impact on my journey. Especially people on Twitter, Slack, Telegram group, producthunt.com, getmakerlog.com, indiehackers.com and many other entrepreneurs I met online. I don’t know what to do but writing this article will remind me to keep reversing and get that lifestyle right back again.
I try to be more positive writing more articles hopefully, make some podcast, ship & launch some nice products soon! 😃 💜 🚀 I do share my progress on if you need to see a quick update on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin and Telegram. I can’t fit everything here on the newsletter or article posts. I suggest you follow you me on social so you can probably see me building things in public. I’m also working on multiple things, you can visit https://fajarsiddiq.com
If it wasn’t because of the indie-maker community I met online on Twitter from all around the world and people from all walks of life, I would have already given up in skills, knowledge, experiences in entrepreneurship, quit tech & design and probably be basic, find a full-time 9-5 job and do nothing beneficial. Mental health & chronic disease are both combinations of a huge major problem in work-life balance. If you can fix & reverse it, you are strong enough to go through anything in life.